The Masters of prayer teach us that progress in prayer moves along a continuum from need to desire. But what exactly does this mean?
When we were children, we turned to our parents to ask for, and most often received, what we wanted or believed we needed. Of course, there was often a difference between what we needed and what we wanted. The same is often true in our prayer life.
As spiritual children, our prayers often focus on what we believe we need, and occasionally what we want. God, like an indulgent parent, wants us to know that He loves us and wants to make us happy, so He will often respond favorably to our requests for things we want, let alone what we need.
However, as we mature, both as adults and as spiritual persons, our conversations with our parents, or with God, transition from one of need to one of desire. The desire is no longer for the things we need, and even less so for the things we merely want. Instead, our focus is on spending time with our parents, or, spiritually speaking, spending time with God. What we come to desire in this next phase of maturity is a relationship.
As adults, we eventually turn to our parents in conversation as we seek to establish a deeper relationship with them. As we mature, we are more interested in just spending time with a parent, speaking with them, listening to them. We want to hear their story; we want to get to know them. But we also want to share our plans with them, our dreams and aspirations, and even our pains and disappointments. Does any of this sound familiar to our spiritual life? It should, it is what we call prayer.
In the later stages of the journey of prayer, we are more interested in establishing a relationship. Our desire is to get to know and understand our parent - God, even as we begin to reveal ourselves to Him. This is a time we begin to focus our thoughts on what is eternal, as opposed to what is merely temporal.
And this is eternal life, that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent. (John 17:3)
This is what prayer is like, it moves through continuous stages of development toward a deepening desire for intimacy, understanding, revelation and connection. As this process progresses, we eventually get a glimpse of God’s eternal plan and just how much Our Father loves us. We also begin to understand and recognize those occasions where we may have failed to respond to that love.
These failures reveal themselves in our relationships with other people. But they can also be recognized in the way we have neglected to spend time with God, or when we fail to thank Him for the blessing of our life. And we will eventually identify the ways in which we have failed to conform ourselves to His Will. This realization will inevitably surface feelings of remorse and regret, but we should not become discouraged. Instead, we should begin to pray in a simpler and more mature way.
“God, show me how to love you.”
This is where the flame of desire begins to flare up in our hearts. We come to recognize that life is short, and our relationship with God is the central reason for our existence. And even if we had begun to pray and love God in earnest as young children, we will discover our entire lifetime is not long enough for us to express how much we love God.
In truth, very few souls ever allow themselves to be drawn into this depth of prayer. For most, this experience of coming to love God above everything else only comes when they see God face to face.
For now, we see in a mirror, dimly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known. (1 Corinthians 13:12)
While acknowledging the challenge we face, we should none the less aspire to this desire for an intimate encounter with God, even in this life. Truly God desires to be with us in this intimate way; we need only respond to His call in prayer.
Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come to him and eat with him, and he with me. (Revelation 3:20)
Copyright © 2024, Deacon Mark Danis
Image credit:"St. Francis Praying," El Greco, Public domain, via WikiArt